Showing posts from September, 2003
LEAVING THE TOWER*SIGH* & I AM A SLOW DRIVER BUT DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PASS ME! Wow, today was my last day in the Tower. Strange, sad and not nearly enough time to clear out the crap I'd been saving the entire time I was there. Laura'll have to slog through tons of old e-mails which hopefully have nice easy to discern titles. It was lump in the throat touching at times, we had a fabulous lunch, and everyone gave me a great silly card & amazing parting gift. A really thoughtful token. I'm not worthy! Even a warm call from one of the bosses in NY. I knew it would be hard, but wasn't prepared for the beautiful sentiments. Enough gushing, I've been all oogy all day so I must quickly dash off some orders for when/if they tune in tomorrow: Cynthia, give Laura your P-Touch and remind her to label the Xerox room drawers as she likes. Then drink a cup of your yummy coffee for me. Laura, tell your sister she can have a blog of her own by going to www
MY BABY BROTHER, BLOOD & BABY COUSIN I call them that, cuz they're the babies of the family to me, they're big strapping men as you'll hear. Got a call from my baby brother Matthew last night and I'm still processing the information. He fell at work, they performed an MRI, a big bloodclot formed where they did the MRI and when they checked on the exact nature of the cause have found unusual things in his blood. I'm going to stay positive on this one because the same blood running through his veins is running through my veins (as I refuse to believe the nasty taunts my older sister Barbara use to use on me that my real father is Carl Malden just because I have a discernable cleft in my nose if you run your finger over the tip). Matthew is going to find out what exactly is going on and he'll be fine. Also he could share this info with his big sis and I can start wearing some sort of big medical ID bracelet in case these bad LA drivers finally take me
STONED GARDENERS & THE RUNDOWN This morning's driving rant is about the morning gardener brigade. They are a total menace. Mercifully you can spot them from a mile away and try to avoid them. They're so easy to identify because they drive decrepit old trucks with the back beds piled dangerously high with filthy equipment, trash cans, etc. Chicago Rog is right, they all look like Sanford & Son's truck with crap too junky to steal heaped in the back teetering in a gravity defying way held down only with frayed bungee cords. The morning gardeners driving the sad old trucks typically drive 20 miles below the speed limit and perform drifting lane changes with daring lack of skill. They all have heavy eyelids and make no effort to hide the fact that they're deeply stoned. Actually, they probably think they're going the speed limit and staying in one lane since they're driving on Planet Cannabis. Hey, I can't say that I blame them. They don't ac
RIDING THE ELEVATOR W/MS COUGAR & PACKRAT DISORDER Coming back from the weekly shopping blitz I struggled into the lobby downstairs with all the bags I could carry (what with my total lack of upper body strength & all) (Joe says that I could be carrying a grape and complain how heavy it is. He says my comeback to his telling me that it is just a grape would be, "This is a heavy grape, it's like a shot put!") but I digress. So I juggle my grocery bags, press the elevator button and am waiting for the doors to open when who should come flyin in as a whirlwind of attitude and bad karma? Ms Cougar. She of course is in a hurry. I wait quietly taking her in by gazing through the side of my sunglasses. She paces, taps her foot, jangles her keys and lets out long heavy sighs. I can't imagine that kind of energy even when I've had too much coffee. Must be that Ms Cougar wakes up early on the weekend (that is always when I encounter her) with a heaping line of
HOW DOES A CITIZEN PULL OVER ANOTHER CITIZEN FOR QUESTIONING? This morning's driving rant is unique in that I'm not sure what was happening exactly. I was driving behind an older man who slowed way down and stared at young girls every time he passed one. He was A) a worried father/grandfather looking for his daughter/grand daughter who hadn't come home last night. or B) A lecherous potentially murderous psycho out trolling for a little girl to grab. I'm kicking myself because it wasn't until after he turned off onto Larchmont that I thought to get his license number... to report what exactly I'm not sure. D'ya ever get a feeling like something is wrong and you can't get it out of your mind? Kinda like Gavin Debecker's Gift of Fear theory. He believes that we perceive all kinds of useful information that would keep us safe, but we don't pay attention to those little hairs bristling on the backs of our necks or that little uneasy feeling. He
LAURA & THINGS I LOVE/HATE OK, I just have the best temp/replacement ever. Her name is Laura. Smart, quick learner, professional. Yeah! I win! Here are some things I was thinking about on the drive home: I love: Building a fort with covers on the couch with Joe and spooning while watching crap TV Joe Checking things off lists Gyros with lots of tzaziki sauce Food TV Chinese mustard & soy sauce mixed together over anything People who make an effort to smile and be polite Sipping white wine while reading in a hot bath KMS hair products Buffy the Vampire Slayer Paris Chicago Big Sur Spell check Oscar Wilde Castles Movies: Midred Pierce Man with Two Brains All of Me Some Like it Hot Greater Tuna Clue 7 Year Itch Jagged Edge Curse of the Jade Scorpion Elizabeth with Cate Blanchette I hate: Towels that don't absorb even after they're washed Papercuts Pens that run out of kink every other letter but sometimes w
POSSIBLE EMERGENCY? OK, I'm so out of this tower. Just after I hit PUBLISH the evil loudspeaker man announced that there was a "possible emergency situation" that was being investigated on the 39th floor and for us to take the stairs down to 36 and wait. So Cynthia & I grabbed our purses and walked down those lovely metal stairs without the vaguest idea of what the "possible emergency" was. I listened for gunshots from a disgruntled employee, I sniffed for smoke, etc. While we waited for 20 or so minutes there were several more announcements saying the same thing. Here is my point. Tell me what the emergency is and let me decide if I'd like to sit on 36 staring at the bad hall wall paper. I mean, I'd really really really prefer not to ever walk down 41 floors again in my lifetime (let alone spend the 2nd weekend in a row unable to walk!) but if crazed Anthrax spraying mutants had taken over the 39th floor and the building management just didn
TURN SIGNAL RANT Turn signals? Anyone? Anyone? Bueler? Bueler? Let's talk about turn signals. The turn signal is a device that you use to show your consideration for the people driving behind or in front of you. A turn signal is a courtesy that says "Hey, you probably don't want to swing into my lane to pass someone because I'm just about to slow way down for a turn-type manuver." A turn signal is a way to communicate what you're about to do so that everyone in the vicinity can take your intentions into account as they go about their driving endeavours. A turn signal is a nice way to communicate "Go ahead and turn out of that parking lot onto Wilshire, I won't hit you, I'm about to turn into that same parking lot." A simple courtesy that takes such a minute amount of finger flicking effort can aleviate the horn honking, rude gesturing, cursing, screaming fury that comes when you don't give a shit about those around you and refuse to u
THE POPE/STONING/SC DRIVERS & MORE A smattering of what's going on in my head this morning: Has the Pope died? The Chicago Tribune has a photo of a Swiss Guard standing guard along side his empty throne chair. Not that he'd be any less vigorous if he did die as it is obvious he can't really speak or move anymore. What sort of crazy intrigue is keeping the Vatican from appointing a new Holy See? History shows that it's been done many times before when a Pope is too feeble to perform whatever popish duties he needs to do. A Nigerian woman escaped a death by stoning sentence under Islamic law yesterday. The charge is that she had a baby 2 years after divorcing her husband... I can't even get to a place where I can put myself in that strict Islamic state of mind to look at their laws objectively. Were they going to hurl rocks at the father of her baby until he died? No of course not. How fucked up is that kind of brutality? While driving into downtown the
JOB SITCH UPDATE OK, I had lunch with Jennifer yesterday at the new job and got all kinds of useful information. Then I met with two people from the new company - including the mysterious phone go-between and everything went really well. Then I met with the person who is hiring the consultancy firm I'd be working with for. He is very nice, very busy and expressed that his understanding was that I was already hired and just needed a desk. So, not really an interview - more of an introduction. Everywhere I walked in the company building (6 floors where I'd be working the next building is the little 3 story one) I ran into ex-colleagues who would run up and hug me. So many of my old IEC colleagues are working for this consultant firm, and are all on jobs at this company in Torrance. I have carpool offers and a million lunch invitations for next week... cuz I TOOK THE JOB! I have chosen not to do the contract option and instead will go to our main office (with the tricky g
HESITANT DRIVERS & MORE So much to go on about today, but after this morning's commute, I must start with a driver-type I'll call The Hesitant Driver. During the morning commute downtown on surface streets there are plenty of school buses and city buses and they mostly take up the right lane. This leaves the left lane for most of us, which wouldn't be so bad if everyone understood that every single one of us is responsible for keeping traffic moving. Just one Hesitant Driver can screw up traffic for blocks. This morning's Hesitant driver braked if she saw a kid on a corner... WAIT they might be thinking of stepping off the corner (or waiting for their friend or a bus). She braked when a bus got along side her car(I could see her cringe). She braked if the car next to her braked. This I call Sympathy Braking. The car in the right lane could be deciding whether or not to turn into that strip mall for a donut and Hesitant Driver is braking with them in sympathy. Wha
DON'T READ THIS BORING POST I've heard from the new company that my second (hopefully final) interview is tomorrow at 3PM. I asked if I could actually meet with the guy who approached me with the job offer, answered my questions (not particularly accurately) and set up these interviews. He said "Yes, that is a good idea." Well, duh. So I'll leave work tomorrow around 1 and meet him around 2. I'm keeping an open mind but. No buts. I must stop second guessing the unknown. I can make up my mind tomorrow on the drive home. I must say that my boss is being extremely supportive during this decision making process. However, I know that he's very busy and has bigger fish to fry. Leg Update: Walking normally now with only slight discomfort! Yeah!
News break. Just got out of another hot bath and see definate progress. I no longer walk like Frankenstein! I am getting around the apartment much better and pleased to say I now walk like John Wayne. Joe has been trying to make me feel better by calling me Duke. How's about he stop with the heh heh humor and find good receipes for large portions of tuna?
THE BLONDE IS HAVING A CAREER MELTDOWN & TUNA FOR 50 Yesterday I got the place cleaned up and a big pot of linguini with meat sauce made before Joe got home lugging 25 pounds of tuna. We'll be eating fish every meal for a while. I have come to the realization that I can't keep this job turning point out of my mind so I shall blurt out everything and then go make an inventive tuna breakfast. The past couple of days I've been examining how I've made a living ever since I was 14 and mom said I was too old for an allowance. I've never had a "career" for some reason that escapes me, just earned a living - at times more meagerly than others. As a child or teenager I never thought "I am going to do this when I grow up, and here are the steps I'm going to take to achieve that goal." Ha. Back when we were about 7 and 9-years old, my older sister Barbara & I were sure that we'd be world famous marine biologists, but alas, we didn&#
I'M CRIPPLED & LA COPS AS ENTERTAINMENT? LORD YES! I left work a bit early today on account of the fact that I could hardly bear to lift my legs the little bit it took to put one foot in front of the other. On the way home in typical traffic nightmare I chatted with Mia back home in good ol Chi on the haps for the day & Joe's truck breakdown and she reminded me that when Joe and I visited her and her fab husband Rog last year that Joe had rented a truck from Budget Rent A Car and it was a ridiculous bright chicken yellow color. She recalled us pulling up and how silly looking it was. Then I recalled Rog (who has either said or been the recipient of some of the funniest comments I've ever heard - Mia, recall him offering us yummy bean soup and Lana puffing her cig and exhaling "I'd rather die than eat bean soup"??) Anyhow, then I recalled that Rog looked at us, and the truck and asked "Does that big yellow truck's engine run if you're
LET'S JUST CALL THIS ONE "THE STAIRS" & LEAVE IT AT THAT Got to love the tower. NOT! Yesterday just as I was preparing to leave the office to go pick up Joe & head home for some quiet-not-thinking-about-work/career quality time I hear over the emergency loud speaker that our elevators have been shut down and those wishing to leave the building can use the freight elevator or the stairwells. Both bad choices since the one time I had to bring something down in the freight elevator I had to wait 15 minutes for it to arrive and then cram inside with all kinds of delivery people with stacks of things on palates. The freight elevator operator is a woman who sits on a chair, checks access passes & runs the controls. Now there's a job for ya. I wonder if she even has a inner-ear what with going to the top of a highrise and back down to the garage loading area like a bazillion times a day. Do her ears even pop anymore? Well, maybe not a bazillion times a day c
JOB OFFER & THE INTERVIEW SCRAMBLE Oh my GOD! Got a call the other day with a job offer that is fabulous, but will take me away from my comfy little job way up in the tower. I was so shocked that I got off the phone without asking the major questions. I've called back to find out that it is a full time job, but it's a contract position so I have to pay for my own health insurance, sick days, holidays and biggest bummer for me... I have to commute to TORRANCE! And you know how much I hate driving with fellow Angelenos. Just kill me now. And soon it'll be daylight savings time and I'll be sitting in traffic in the dark on the 405 wishing I was just struggling along my old route of one surface street to and fro. I'm not the break-out-and-express-myself-through-my-impressive-career-gal so this uncertainty of self employment terrifies me. I found out more about the position and spoke to my current boss about it and yesterday I accepted the position only to fi
10" DRILL BIT AT 6AM The other morning I clicked on the TV right after I turned off the alarm and was busy trying to wake all the way up when the morning news was going into disgusting detail about some man who fell onto a 10" drill bit and it went through his eye and into his brain and they were just explaining how they'd had to unscrew it out of his brain and his eye was a total loss... when Joe, out of a sound sleep, snatched up the remote and clicked the TV off. He tiredly said, "Please don't ever turn on horrifying stories of gore like that again at 6AM, I'm like scarred now." We both struggled to get that image out of our brains and then later in the day I was in our office/spare bedroom while he logged onto his computer and doncha know what picture was on the news flash of his homepage???? The head xray of Mr. Drill-Bit-in-the-Brain ! Joe couldn't win. On a side note, what the hell is wrong with our news entities that they think that k
Hilarious! I was just reading an archived Richard Roeper Sun Times column, where he was discussing Chicago-themed songs and when I read this segment I was so startled I spit out some of my coffee: "But lately, another Chicago-based song has been on my mind. It's called "Crack Whore." I met you on Morgan Street outside the liquor store You were from my neighborhood and I've seen you around before I always thought that you were the prettiest girl in Bridgeport I wish I wasn't in love with a crack whore.... Come on, everybody sing along!" Richard Roeper Ahh, I do believe that super cool Ebert has been a good influence on him! Ciao, Ivy
THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THE BR SNEAK I'm at work today and have finally had it with my shoes from Banana Republic. When I first purchased them I worked at my last job and walked on carpet the whole time I was inside, and outside it was just blacktop. The shoes didn't make any strange sounds... But now I work in an office that has marble and slate floor surfaces as well as some sort of glossy stone in the main building lobby. Walking in these shoes causes a nails on the chalkboard kind of squeak in two parts "reka-reek" with each step "reka-reek". I noticed it shortly after starting here, and not just with these shoes, but with all the pumps I've purchased from BR. How in the Hell does that happen? Is there a certain kind of composite plastic that their heels are made of? Don't they have some sort of testing protocol to catch that sort of problem? "Hey Mr. Smith, these shoes make a really bad sound with every step on hard surfaces. We need to f
Traffic highlight of today: While doing about 40 mph on 6th during rush hour in the left lane, the woman in front of me quickly brakes to a stop and puts on her right blinker. I was displeased to be jammed up behind her as cars streamed by in an unbroken line in the right lane. I waited while all those cars zoomed by and way back in our lane everyone screetched into the right lane and passed. About 3 frustrating minutes later I was able to proceed. Apparently she didn't understand that she had several options to get where she was going that WOULDN'T HAVE ALMOST CAUSED ABOUT 15 SEPARATE ACCIDENTS. breathing in and out Serenity Now. BTW Miss Cougar lives in my building. I'll be keeping my eye on her. Ooh, wouldn't it be fun to be in the lobby elevator and have her hurry into the building hollering in her loud way "hold the elevator!!". I'm sure she wouldn't say "please". And I'd pretend to hit the open door button but secretly be p
ISABEL/DAIRYQUEEN/MUTINY Awestruck. Just saw a brilliantly clear photo of Hurricane Isabel taken from the space station and it is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. The cloud cover for the entire planet is swirling into one funnel, all turning and apparently heading for the East coast of the U.S.: The sun, out in space... of course... just where it should be, is shining on earth which is covered with white glowing clouds, no oceans or land visible and it comes to an inverted Dairy Queen swirl. I wouldn't want to be a) on the ocean or b) in the Chesapeake Bay where it is headed. The Navy is considering the strategy of sending the fleet out to sea to ride out the hurricane. I think I'd mutiny.
VORTEX IN THE STAIRWELL & BOMB IN THE CEILING? OK, this is what I've got to write about today. I arrived at work and as always, blathered to Cynthia (who works on the other side of my office suite) about every single dammed thing that happened to me or Joe (my boyfriend) this past weekend. As always she listened in good spirits and related her own stories. Then as always I grabbed a cup of Cynthia's yummy coffee and headed for my desk. I'm generally in before my bosses. Just me and the 4 of them. Anyhow, I'm listening to Tori Amos, checking my corporate e-mails and I hear this strange whistling sound through the wall behind me. I turn down the music and it is quite a loud whistling. I got up to investigate and headed out our back door into the hallway by the freight elevators. It is coming from the fire escape stairwell. Hmmmmm. I pulled on the door and it finally came open --- wooosh! My hair flew all over the place and the whistling turned into a howl. The
OK, this is what I've got to write about today. I arrived at work and as always, blathered to Cynthia (who works on the other side of my office suite) about every single dammed thing that happened to me or Joe (my boyfriend) this past weekend. As always she listened in good spirits and related her own stories. Then as always I grabbed a cup of Cynthia's yummy coffee and headed for my desk. I'm always in before my bosses. Just me and the 4 of them. Anyhow, I'm listening to Tori Amos, checking my corporate e-mails and I hear this strange whistling sound through the wall behind me. I turn down the music and it is quite a loud whistling. I got up to investigate and headed out our back door into the hallway by the freight elevators. It is coming from the fire escape stairwell. Hmmmmm. I pulled on the door and it finally came open --- wooosh! My hair flew all over the place and the whistling turned into a howl. The pressurized stairwell is having a hurricane. Can't be goo
INAUGURAL BLOG & MISS COUGAR Oh my God this is my inaugural blog! I've been roaming through other people's blogs for too long now not to jump into the pool. Hello all. As a Southern California transplant I will most certainly be ranting about my life on the road to and from work and points beyond. Feel free to skip those tirades, but I've got to bitch about it someplace or I'll explode. Can't constantly gripe about it to my boyfriend as that isn't the kind of thing that a guy wants to come home to. Besides, he's busy having his own LA-street-duels. OK here is my first one. It is 7:30 this morning, Saturday, and I've not had my morning coffee. I threw on the clothes that were on my closet floor and headed to the Miracle Mile Ralphs on Wilshire. I start to pull out onto the street when the front end of my car is almost taken off by some chick in a black Mercury Cougar. She heads onto the street where she cuts off a Jag and zooms up to the red