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Showing posts from May, 2005
WHERE'S MY CHEF? WHERE'S MY MAID? WHERE'S MY POOLBOY?
No seriously, I totally want a personal chef. No. Seriously. I want one. Sure, I know you're all saying that I've lived in LA too long and that this city's culture of plastic surgery, teeth capping, taking limos to Fred Segal (trendy store), Brazilian bikini waxes, play dates for pets, and having personal employees like personal assistants, personal masseuses, etc. has finally gotten to me. You're saying I've been warped by LA. I hear you, but I vehemently deny such warpage*.

But I want a chef of my own. Sure, I love to prepare my own food and make nutritious meals for Joe and I, but when I don't feel like cooking, I want to be able to press a speed dial button on my cell phone and say, "Alexea, please whip up some of that yummy Ahi tartar with that divine soy and wasabi sauce. We'll have a warm side of some sort of beans and toss in some wilted bitter radicchio and surprise Joe with some …
UM YEAH LIKE IT'S GOT A FUNNY NAME AND THEY TALK A LOT
While sitting on a bus I'd chartered yesterday (don't ask) I overheard this one a few rows back:
Woman #1: Have you been watching the news lately?
Woman #2: Some, why?
#1: Oh like there's this big problem with the Senate I think or our government!
#2: The war?
#1: No! It's like a problem where one side doesn't agree with the other side and instead of voting, they just talk and talk until they can't vote.
#2: Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
#1: It's the biggest problem we face in American I heard on the news. Really huge!
#2: Can't it be stopped?
#1: Well, that is the really scary part! One of our sides has a nuclear weapon and is threatening to kill them all!
#2: OHMIGOD! No! I didn't hear that! Why didn't I hear that?
#1: So, um, I guess if the one side doesn't stop talking, the other side will unleash a nuclear bomb!
#2: Those things don't just kill people in the room, it could kill like an e…
REFLECTIONS OF PERSONALITY DISORDERS AND FOOD
It's become such a cliché, you know, the Sally way of eating food - with all ingredients up for discussion - everything 'on the side'. But I've been paying attention to people's relationships to food and truly, there is an odd subculture forming.

There's no secret that some food choices are religious or political, so Jews don't eat pork and PETA members don't eat meat at all - but there are quirky personal food rules that don't fall so neatly into recognizable categorization. I've been noticing these food rules more and more lately. And they go WAY beyond "I don't care what you put on brussel sprouts, I'm not eating them."

If I Had To Hunt, I'd Starve
These folks can't even consider eating meat that remotely resembles something animal. They are the portion of the population that Chicken McNuggets were created for. Make it all white meat, grind it up and process it so it doesn…
A LITTLE iTUNES SURPRISE
While I have such fun checking out everything I can find on iTunes there are the freakish moments when I find music that is laughingly bad. Several of these I encounter by automatically downloading everything that Apple offers for free. Nice! Free! Gimme! I've gotten cool live performances by Maroon 5 and a new one by Eisley called Telescope Eyes… but I just heard one of these automatic downloads that stopped me in my tracks.

What the?! All of sudden my iPod starts playing a cantada by Vivaldi sung by something called Ensemble Artaserse .Y'all know that Vivaldi was super fond of really fast moving notes running up and down and up and down the scale - did I mention he liked his pacing really fast? Well, this Ensemble Artaserse features a tenor who sings so high up on the register that I'd like to get a peek down his pants to satisfy my hunch that someone has castrated the poor bloke. But his style of vocalization is more like screetching than singing…
ARE THOSE CATS ON YOUR HEAD OR SOME TYPE OF RUSSIAN HAT?
Yes, just a quick bloggity update to say that the cats are still sleeping on my head. Still quite uncomfortable for me and I dare say, for them. Evadnae is no longer even gentle about it. He hops onto the bed, begins purring and approaches my head on the pillow and then heaves over onto his side with his rather large ass landing THUD on my head [kaPLOP!] Sleep is particularly elusive when they're both laying on my head happily swishing 2 tails around my face and neck.

I remarked to my friend the other day that it must look like something out of a horror film at night.
Camera shows peaceful bedroom.
Pan right to show two guilty felines moving into the room.
Slowly, stealthily they approach the bed.
Camera moves up to reveal a deeply sleeping woman (devistatingly sexy she is too! Heh, just kidding).
Felines approach with single-minded sneaking.
Unaware the woman sleeps on.
Felines mount the bed and begin moving soundlessly across the c…
EXPERIMENTS IN NEW MUSIC & KRUNKIN'
My musical taste has always been the same since early childhood. I like:
1) A good melody
2) Catchy lyrics
3) Pleasing vocals

I don't like:
1) Shouting or screaming
2) Sustained clanging of guitars/drums/etc.
3) Music devoid of heart - insipid/watered-down/etc.

So for much of my life I've been listening to Elton John (shut up, I know at times he's ventured into insipid territory with Goodbye English Rose or whatever the fuck that remake of Goodbye Norma Jean was for Princess Di…) The Beatles, Queen, Velvet Underground, Simon & Garfunkle but recently with the advent of the new Mp3 access to music - I continue to dive in and swim through music that never found its way to my ears before.

My latest surprising foray has been into club-type rap. Yes, stand back folks - and my 2 new favorite songs are "Milkshake" by Kelis and "Oh" by Ciara (the explicit version with a verse in by Ludacris thank you very much).

Milkshake is…
WEEKEND SNAPSHOT
It was a beautiful weekend and Joe & I relaxed A LOT. We did the minimum amount of our chores and simply chilled the weekend away. Good food, naps, interesting movies and crap TV and more naps was the agenda. Just the way we like it.

One interesting movie was Bright Future by Kyoshi Kurosawa. Two raggedy young friends work together. One decides to kill their boss and his wife, so the other actually kills them (none of this we actually see) in order to save his friend from the crime and thus death row. Very big of him eh? So the friend that didn't get the chance to kill the boss and his wife is now left adrift while the pal who did the killing is on death row and the least he can do is care for his friend's best friend, a red jelly fish. Lot's of rushing around to get brine shrimp and talk of how to reduce the saline of the jelly fish's tank, etc. I never did connect much with either friend, but that jelly fish was kinda cool and at the end the direct…
THE FRIENDLY DELI FIEND!
My little deli guy has struck again! Oh sure, he's all smiles and "how is your day miss?" and he's served me the bleu cheese bomb disguised as a Cobb Salad yet again! Mercy! It was months after that last one before I was able to enjoy bleu cheese again - and let's all just acknowlegde that bleu cheese is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - but too much is just, um, gurgle, it's just overload.

I'm looking at impressive chunks of the rich cheese on my salad plate right now that are the size of a baby's fist. I have to figure out a way to tell the little deli "cheese fairy" that if he I'd prefer he reward me for being his faithful customer with extra lettuce or even garbanzo beans.

Gurgle gurgle

Ivy

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I'LL STAY UNCLEAN, THANKS
For a while now, some of my co-workers have been going on and off The Master Cleanse which consists of fasting and drinking a concoction of cayenne pepper, fresh squeezed lemon and pure organic maple syrup several times a day. Those who do it, seem to like it, but they look awful. We have a graphic artist who works closely with Monica, my office mate and he's in and out of our office all the time. He's on the cleanse again, it's been 6 months since he did it last and I'll be keeping a close eye on him. By the 3rd day last time he looked like he was dying. I'd ask him how he was feeling and he'd reply, "Great" while slowly blinking his eyes as if he was about to doze off. I'm no doctor, but I'd say he went pretty quickly from being vibrant and energetic to zombie - it really sapped his strength.

No thank you. So I just got back from our office kitchen where people were mixing up their cayenne and squeezing lemons and…
IN THE NEWS & WHAT DID YOU NAME YOUR PUPPY?
Before I say anything about this article in the NY Times about abalone hunting, just let me say that I love fresh fish and even more, I really love shell fish. There, with that said, I just read an article titled "Risking Life, Waistline and Freedom for Abalone". It details how (mostly middle aged men) explorers looking for wild abalone in Northern California waters clambor down slick cliffs and plunge head first into cold ocean waters in the hopes of wrenching 3 (that's the legal limit) wild abalones from the underwater cliff surfaces and then they eat them right on the spot. Best to eat fresh, alive and bursting with the vitality of the sea. You see, wild abalone isn't sold legally anywhere and so you have to get your own. But there are dangers…

"It is a risky pursuit. Abalone-related drownings average two to five a year in Sonoma County alone, said Sgt. Eric Thompson, director of the county's helicopter rescu…
HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO VACATION IN DUBAI?
Today the NY Times has a travel article extolling the virtues of hangin out in Dubai. Seems this jewel of the Arab Emirates is happening - and how! After just a few columns, I'm ready to pick up the phone and book a trip to stay at the Shangri-la Hotel, soak up some spa treatments, shop shop shop and then dance away the wee hours at one of the trendy clubs. Universally, travelers find their experience in Dubai as "friendly, safe, first rate, clean, warm, entertaining…" and one of the raves is the white sand beaches that unbelievably allow bikinis! But then the article takes up a subject that left me staring at my screen with my coffee cup hovering forgotten under my chin.


"Concerned that Dubai is running out of beachfront, its crown prince, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, is having three palm-tree-shaped islands created on sand being dredged from the Gulf and held in place by enormous plastic membranes. Plans for the p…
2-3-4 YOU CAN'T SHAKE IT ANYMORE
An interesting article in the Trib this morning details the proposed legislation of Texas Democratic Rep. Al Edwards to ban "suggestive" cheerleading moves from all sporting events in his great state. Clearly Al needs to get his head out of the pom poms and speak to the voters who elected him and find out just what exactly they expected him to do as their representative. Can anywhere on their list be CRACK DOWN ON HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADING SQUADS? I doubt it.

I mean heck, if you're a good girl and you are talented enough to make your school's cheerleading squad - you've earned the right to strut around in a tiny skirt and shake what you've got for all to see. I mean, if you're into having people check out your assets and bumping and grinding with people able to see your panties, but not all the way to the point of being a stripper or porn star… you cheer baby! You Bring It On!

So I'm wondering what old Al has in mind f…
MY SAN DIEGO WORK WEEK
So, what have I been doing with myself other than blogging? Well, last week I went down to San Diego for business and in 4 short days, I spent more time on the phone than all my other 39 years combined. Oh, and as many of you know, I'm NOT a phone person. It all started out perfectly efficient. I printed out little schedules for all of the people I'd be working with and highlighted their appointment times and tucked them carefully into my project binder. Then I double-checked the list of everyone's contact information. Then I drove down to the SD hotel and checked myself in. Within minutes I'd handed over little welcome envelopes to the front desk staff who would hand them to my colleagues when they checked into the hotel.

I entered my room and found my message light was already blinking. The schedules had been changed for the first day's activities. I had to call and change everyone's schedule. Then they all called me back to verify that I…