Showing posts from January, 2006
MORNING TRAVAILS Here’s something that I’ve never experienced before. I got dressed for work today and did my usual morning routine of racing around the apartment before grabbing my keys and rushing for the car when the lining of the left leg of my pants let go. Yes, it just let go. I was walking rapidly to the parking lot when I felt this silky sliding inside my pant leg and then heard this faint whisper and then almost fell flat on my face when a sheath of black silk pooled around my ankle and over my shoe. What the..?! I hopped on my right foot juggling my gym bag, purse, lunch and a case of bottled water (don’t ask) as I struggled to figure out what the hell had just happened to my shoe and clothing. How bizarre! I climbed into the car and slid the unattached lining the rest of the way out of my pants and inspected it. It had ripped all the way around the top of the leg and just… let go. I stuffed it in my gym bag and headed to the office. What would make a perfectly good pair o
NEWS FLASH JOE'S POST ABOUT TOO DUMB TO LIVE What have I been up to? Ah, you know, the usual. Working, watching the Food Network, uh, that’s about all. Doesn’t really explain my lack of time to blog does it? Nope. Nope. Nope, I guess it’s official. I suck. I am neglectful and I suck. *sigh* I'll soon tell you what I've been up to in my typical self-absorbed and neaseating detail, I must first type these words dictated to me by an exasperated Joe: “People who live in a high-rise and don’t know where the stairs are located are too dumb to live.” Yes, Joe, I agree and in the event that said high-rise should catch fire, they in fact will die so there ya go. Joe was fuming after an encounter with girls that were either extremely lazy or in the “too dumb to live” category that he personally invented (or was it Darwin who invented that category of humans?). You see, we were jammed into our apartment building elevator with several other residents when just before reaching the
OK I'M WELL AGAIN BUT HAVE A FEW THINGS TO BITCH ABOUT Sure, I had a some periodic Hell what with my cold and all in the past 2 weeks, but my favorite was Joe telling me not to get up and go to the office, and me saying, "sure, of course, even I can see I'm not fit to be up and around." and I got up and went into the office where I was promptly sent home for looking way to contagious to be around innocent co-workers, and I (under so much cold medicine that there is no way I was legally operating machinery) drive from work the few blocks toward home only to try to call Joe to tell him I lied to him and was in fact in the car, but mercifully on my way back home... but my phone was dead so I plugged to car AC adaptor/charger into the clown car and have the following conversation: Ivy: Honey, I went to work, but now I'm on my way back home. Joe: Are you nuts?! I told you not to get out of bed! Ivy: Yes, I'm in a DayQuil induced dementia, but I'll just swing b