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Showing posts from February, 2007
THEY’RE WILD ANIMALS, NOT TEDDY BEARS Just read in the Trib an article that said a woman named Karen Aerts hid at a zoo in Belgium, found keys to the cheetah cage and then after hours, came out of hiding and slipped into the cage… where… wait for it… she was mauled to death. Yup. One of the cheetahs in the cage was named “Bongo” and had been adopted by Karen under a special program that allowed Karen to pay for all of its food. They’re cheetahs. Not domesticated pets. I really think that animal rights groups (yes she was an active member in an animal rights group) need to be very specific in their explanations of the dangers of being in the presence of something like a cheetah. Like Timothy Treadwell who got himself and his girlfriend torn limb from limb in the wilds of Alaska’s remote and dangerous “Grizzly Maze” by a grizzly bear. He’d been out “protecting” the bears for a while… or more to my understanding, not getting mauled by some extended windfall of dumb luck that didn’t la
MY BRAIN IN THE ELEVATOR Last night I climbed aboard the elevator in my building along with a selection of neighbors, and here is a little glimpse into where my brain went on the short ride up to my floor: Hmmm, that lady is wearing the ugliest shoes. They don’t really look like they fit properly, but I have very similar mules, and mine fit me the same way. Kinda like your heel should be further inside the shoe, but then when you go up a size, it is clear that there is too much shoe for your foot. And they look unbalanced in design like too much bulk up front and then the shoe just kind of ends. And they pinch your toes, which is clearly happening to that lady. It's a wonder they were ever fashionable. They're certainly ugly now. I'm not just indifferent to them, I actively dislike those shoes… …and would that Korean woman in the other corner SHUT THE FUCK UP! Mother of GOD! Why is she talking at the top of her voice to the kid that she has by the hand? Is the child deaf
NATURAL SELECTION? While getting ready for work this morning, I overheard on the Today show that there is a hot new dating service. Not J date, not old-fashioned speed dating, nope, this is called Natural Selection Speed Dating. Hmmm intriguing. So while tripping over cats and slurping my coffee and trying not to put my eye out with a mascara wand, I had half an ear tuned to that tasty bit of morning news. If I heard correctly, to be eligible to take part in this service’s activities, women must be beautiful or I think the word used was “hot” so I guess slutty looking might suffice. And men must be rich. Something about men aged 18 to 25 must make $200K, 26 to 30 must make $300K, men 30 and over $500K, or have invested assets of $1M or trust fund in excess of $4M. Is this newsworthy? Beauties with a taste for the finer things hooking up with Daddy Warbucks is nothing new. I recall the first time I was confronted with the spectacle that is nymphet + rich old troll. I was in the Medit