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Showing posts from 2011

VAGINA JEWELS THE NETHER SPA: DEMISE OF THE WESTERN WORLD?

Dad, yes, you G-man, this is one blog that's not appropriate for you to read. Just like the one that referenced the 'white trash tacos'** we used to make as kids. Go read something about WW2 please.

OK. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm 34 days into a physical fitness test that gets me up at 4:30 A.M. five days a week. I get to sleep in till 6:30 A.M. on weekends. Oh yes, I'm committed seven days a week.

So every now and then I have hallucinations due to sleep pattern disturbance. But this morning, while driving to class a radio station that plays pretty chill music announced sponsors and kinda fumpfererred their way though this description:

DJ: DaySpaLA is offering our listeners a special ladies package. It's their Ultimate Brizilian Vagazziling treatment. This $250 value is just $190 for our listeners!

I feel I need to stay current on trends and vernacular, so I looked up said spa treatment and here is the $250 value. No kidding:
Brazilian waxing (anus incl…

THE DICTIONARY MAKES IT OFFICIAL

I know I never went to college - or really applied myself in high school English class, and I know I play around with expressions, but you all know that I have the utmost respect for rules and certainly for the English language. One of my more recent blogs was putting Bruno Mars on notice for his taking flagrant license with fundamental word usage, and pronunciation.

OK, well, I've used the term "muffin top" for years to describe my midriff when I've put on, oh, say five pounds because I carry extra weight solely on my belly. Truthfully I learned the term muffin top from Mia while driving in Chicago. A woman who was otherwise nicely dressed walked in front of our car with her pants cinched in at her hips and her belly was pooched out over her waistband.

Mia remarked, "Cute bolero jacket. Too bad it clashes with her muffintop."

I stared and there was no need for explanation. That woman had the same thing rising over her slacks that a baker strives to engine…