Showing posts from March, 2007
ARE YOU THINKING OF LICKING THIS SCREEN? "If ever there was a screen worthy of licking…” this partial sentence caught my eye while I was on a conference call at my desk. Blah-blah-blah-blah went the legal team in my ear, but my attention was drawn to “If ever there was a screen worthy of licking…” the sentence that was right there staring at me from the top of the ChicagoTribune website. What kind of sentence is that? Is it a follow up to a statement like, “This Dell flatscreen monitor has really good resolution and was voted most lickable by Electronics Guidebook.” I mean I know that I’ll soon be a dinosaur and no longer employable because technology has passed me by, but I’m pretty sure that screen lickability isn’t something that gets rated. Or is it something sexual I’m missing, “Dude! Did you see that new video of Avril Lavigne? I totally licked the screen!” Nah, that’s way too pathetic. Even more pathetic than a 10-year-old with a crush on a Tiger Beat cover boy kissing
GIRL! WHY YOU TALKIN’ LIKE THAT? I’ve noticed it for a while now, but every time I’m confronted with this morning spectacle, I cringe. Ooh, I’m cringing now just thinking about it. CRRRIIINNNGGGG. OK, here’s what happens: There is a nice man in his mid 50s or so who is an attendant in my parking structure. He’s basically in charge of keeping the peace, and maneuvering very expensive vehicles into the pattern of the ever changing Rubik’s cube that is P3 in my office building. He is a nice man as I’ve said, and he is black. When I speak to him, I’ve noticed that he has an inner city LA speaking style (similar to what I used to have as an inner city Chicagoan). Since living in LA for as long as I have – I’ve lost any discernable accent, but this guy has a distinct, and pleasant inner city speech pattern. So, anyway, about every other morning a young woman of about 20 arrives on P3 at the same time that I do. She is white. I hear her speaking to co-workers, or saying to me “Good morni